You choose to fight by his or her side. You fall in love with him or her and sometimes, even more because no matter how imperfect he or she is, you know that you can accept all those imperfections as long as you have each other. Christine B. Adams, M. We immediately put the other person on a pedestal and think of them as an ideal. This projecting gives both people a feeling of security and intense positive feelings for each other, long before you know what the other person is really like.
This situation has highly spectacular emotional, and also usually sexual, fireworks. It is a very emotional approach, not a thoughtful one. This usually results in short-term relationships with frequent breakups. This leads to the slow formation of a bond based on mutual admiration and creates a true bond by discovering the other person has admirable qualities you hold in high regard.
This love is specific for the other person and cannot be transferred to another person. This is a very thoughtful approach, not an emotional one and is more likely to produce an enduring love relationship.
Michael Alcee, Ph. We fall in love with someone both familiar and strange. They provide a solution to some spell we never imagined could be broken, and then ironically, provide us with a new riddle to solve that we too never imagined. They feel like home in all the ways that are somehow right and yes, somewhat wrong, but they keep us striving to understand who we are and who they are, together and alone. We fall in love with the enigma and solution of ourselves.
Evan Money, Ph.
The simple truth is, LOVE is an action word. Gary Chapman. What women and men really want is a love that lasts a lifetime. One way my bride and I do that is to get remarried every year in a different state or country and that includes the honeymoon. We just keep re-falling in love with each other every year. People fall in love for a number of reasons. First, people fall in love because of physical attraction. However, if your relationship is only based on physical attraction, you may feel empty after a few months. True love is about commitment, being there through sickness and in health, and creating a meaningful friendship underneath the romantic elements.
Some people fall in love because their partner is someone they can laugh with and cry with. Love takes nurturing and time to grow and evolve. People fall in love because both parties are putting in the effort and work on a daily basis. Of course, as with any advice, you can't just read the book and hope everything w Dr. Of course, as with any advice, you can't just read the book and hope everything works out Apr 04, Katie rated it really liked it Shelves: favorites , self-improvement.
I bought this book as a joke gift for the long-distance boyfriend I had in college when I found it in a library book sale for 25 cents. It ended up being the only book I had with me when I flew home next, so I started reading it and I didn't end up giving it to him like I intended which is good, because that relationship took an eventual nose-dive, and I ended up liking the book. Actually, I ended up liking the book so much that I read it again a second time later on-- which is a compliment, b I bought this book as a joke gift for the long-distance boyfriend I had in college when I found it in a library book sale for 25 cents.
Actually, I ended up liking the book so much that I read it again a second time later on-- which is a compliment, because I almost never if ever read books more than once, unless for reference. And now that I'm actually married not to the aforementioned long-distance boyfriend , it's probably time to break it out for a third time.
Wheat outlines his understanding of a healthy, Christian specifically Catholic marriage. This is probably the part of the book I took the most away from. Wheat explains that we are supposed to honor our marriage, and part of that honor includes forgiving the other half when they fail to honor the marriage. As Christ forgave, we should forgive.
Although I don't fully agree with him about never allowing a marriage to fail due to infidelity, it changed my perspective a bit. I was raised with a hell of a lot of "self-respect" and a "you cheat once, you're done" sort of mentality. Straight up, no-nonsense Justice. One and done. But we aren't called to demand justice for ourselves. Instead we vow the equivalent of "for better or for worse," and cheating falls into the "worse" category.
Marriage should be bigger than one literal screw-up -- which doesn't take away the pain and hard-work that accompanies overcoming the screw-up. The part s where I differ are about the terms of terminating a marriage. Physical, sexual or emotional abuse for either spouse or offspring are not to be tolerated. For me, that includes cheating on me and then having sexual relations without telling me about your affair first. This book helped me define that important but hopefully irrelevant line between Christian marital love and self-respect, which before was more self-love and self-respect.
The other thing I took away was the idea of actively loving to receive love in return. There's a whole philosophical tail-chasing conversation about altruism that can play into this, but I'm going to steer away this time! For me, sometimes actively loving is not complaining. I love to voice my distaste for things I find inconvenient But do I love my husband's sanity more than my love to complain?
Can I sacrifice my desire to lash out with seething words about empty toilet paper rolls, if it will make my husband's life more enjoyable? And chances are that him enjoying his life more will lead him to be more willing to weigh the benefits of not having to expend the energy of replacing the toilet paper roll with the benefits of making my life more enjoyable by replacing the toilet paper Apr 21, Holly rated it it was ok.
I had read this book in the mid's and really liked it. Having such a selfish, post-modern mindset, it was a revelation to me then and I desperately need it to wake me up! While it has MUCH fabulous advice about love being a choice and details the kinds of love the Scriptures lay out for us and most of the marital counsel is wonderful, I threw this copy of the book in the trash when I was done re-reading it this morning.
It had three flaws that I could not overlook, no matter how fantastic the I had read this book in the mid's and really liked it. It had three flaws that I could not overlook, no matter how fantastic the advice about being a wonderful, loving mate might be. They were: 1. This is not sexual, even in the most remote way. His explanation about forgiveness is off as well. Forgiveness is not an activity we engage in for our own selfish wellbeing.
See an excellent article in The Christian Research Journal about forgiveness for clarification. He advises married people, especially newlyweds, to disengage from their families of origin. Ed Wheat is the antithesis of a multi-generational visionary in this section of the book. It ignores the clear historical practices surrounding the application of this scripture in the culture in which it was written AND it neglects the mountain of scripture that negates what he is teaching.
- Use Your Brain to Stay In Love.
- Fall in Love, Stay in Love by Willard F. Harley Jr..
- Design: Type: A Seductive Collection of Alluring Type Designs.
- Interpolation of Operators and Singular Integrals: An Introduction to Harmonic Analysis.
- Need, Speed, and Greed: How the New Rules of Innovation Can Transform Businesses, Propel Nations to Greatness, and Tame the Worlds Most Wicked Problems.
- Vertical Coffin.
They need to be a blessing to their wives and chidlren AND their parents. The parents in the family of origin are supposed to be blessing and edifying their married children and teaching and training their grandchildren. Kinda hard to do if you follow Ed Wheat's advice and move across the country, don't come home for Thanksgiving and never pick up the phone if it's your mother! I dramatize, but the point is the same. So, for these reasons, I chunked the book in the dustbin.
There is plenty of great advice to be had about being a wonderful lover in ever sense of the word that isn't blighted with these serious errors. Sep 19, Nadine rated it really liked it.
- Love is a Choice More than a Feeling?
- Subscribe to my 2020 mailing list.
- Use Your Brain to Stay In Love.
- The Twentieth Century in 100 Moments: A Visual History?
- The Difference Between Falling In Love And Staying In Love.
- Floodplain modeling using HEC-RAS.
I thought this was an excellent and useful book. I would have given it 5 stars except for a couple of points that I disagree with. I'm going to talk about those points below, but I want the main point of the review to be: this is a good and helpful book! It really gives one hope for marriages to be sources of joy and happiness. Now for the disagreements. Because he is a strict Christian he agrees with the idea that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. This is j I thought this was an excellent and useful book. This is just a theologic idea that I don't agree with.
The second is that he says that if you always treat your spouse with love, no matter what they are doing, they will come back to the marriage and the marriage can be saved. Maybe this works in some cases, but I don't think that it is always healthy to accept the other person's behavior. For example, he talks about a man who was living part time with a mistress and the wife who warmly welcomed him back into the family home whenever he happened to stop by.
To me, that is not acceptable behavior, and I don't think there is anything wrong with the wife saying "This is hurtful, it makes me angry, " etc.. Or even "Adultery kills marriage and I want a divorce. If the marriage is saved, kudos to the martyr who stuck it out, but I don't think a person should be expected to do this. Although keeping a commitment to marriage is important, there is an importance in having self respect and expecting to be treated as a valuable person. Nevertheless, overall this was a very compassionate, loving, and hopeful book about marriage and how great it can be.
Shelves: counseling , christian-living , marriage.see
Fall in Love, Stay in Love
I read this book for my Prayer and Share class at church. It covers many of the different aspects of marriage: spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental and how each one is a very important aspect to marriage. He also goes over the five different types of love in the Greek: Epithumia strong desire , eros romantic, passionatate, and sentimental , storge love shared by parents and children or brothers and sisters phileo companionship, closeness, tender affection and agape unselfish love th I read this book for my Prayer and Share class at church.
He also goes over the five different types of love in the Greek: Epithumia strong desire , eros romantic, passionatate, and sentimental , storge love shared by parents and children or brothers and sisters phileo companionship, closeness, tender affection and agape unselfish love that has the capacity to give and keep on giving with expecting in return. Everything that Dr. Wheat proposes if found in the pages of Scripture and provides a picture for what a biblical marriage should look like. Also, he provides great insight on how to counsel other people in relationships by giving several examples of what he has gone through as a counselor.
This book has helped me gain new understanding on how to have a healthy, biblical, and satisfying relationship. Aug 08, Donna rated it really liked it. This is a very good Christian marriage book but is not really for the non-christian. It provides lots of biblical evidence for God's plan for marriage and the practical behavior required from the husband and wife to make it work. What is truly mind-boggling to me is to really stop and think how counter-cultural true Christian marriage has become!
How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love (with Pictures) - wikiHow
Much of the "really good advice" out there on the market today; well-intended, highly educated advice, is just dead wrong. Something that used to be so This is a very good Christian marriage book but is not really for the non-christian. Something that used to be so common and boring; believing in the sanctity of a life-long marriage between one man and one woman and living according to those beliefs, is now super badass!
I personally find it inspiring. I think all christian singles should read this book and if their fiance doesn't believe what's in it, they should move on. Aug 14, Mark rated it really liked it Shelves: relationships , changed-me , christian-living. I read this book just before getting married. My reaction as I read this book was "Wow.
Real stories from real people
Marriage can be really good". The author paints a very attractive but also realistic picture of what a good marriage can be like. Unlike some books, this book isn't filled with with happy fairy-tale stories, but rather looks at the wonder and blessing of everyday intimacy. If you are looking for a "how to" book for marriage, there are better books. That's not to say that this book doesn't have good and practi I read this book just before getting married.
That's not to say that this book doesn't have good and practical suggestions, just that there are books that are better than this. Why read this book? To get a realistic vision of the beauty and wonder of a healthy marriage. Dec 28, Julia rated it liked it. This is a must read for newly married couples, or for any married couple in a good or bad marriage.
I have yet to get through this book. Sometimes, it seems like he already said the same exact thing in a previous chapter, but in just a slightly different way. I feel like the book could have been more compresse This is a must read for newly married couples, or for any married couple in a good or bad marriage.
I feel like the book could have been more compressed. May 25, Robin added it. There is a lot of good information in this book on how to really love your spouse and therefore improve your marriage. I was really challenged to love my husband without expecting the same treatment in return.
See a Problem?
I love the idea that every day is a new one, and that my marriage can always be improved. Apr 01, Don rated it it was amazing. My wife and I are reading this book together as part of a marriage group we joined. It was amazing, I can truly say that this marriage group and the text we read saved our marriage.
Whether you're reading it alone or with your partner it is a great book. Gives lots of biblical examples for how to treat your partner and work out issues. It really rekindled the romance in our marriage.
Why Do We Fall in Love with Someone?
Just an incredible book. May 01, Matt rated it it was ok. Don't read this book if you are looking for earth-shattering exegetical insights. Still, there are some helpful nuggets of wisdom here from a Christian marriage therapist who has counseled hundreds of couples. The chapters on sexual intimacy and how to save your marriage alone were unlike anything I have ever read before.
View 1 comment. Aug 30, Richard rated it really liked it. Wheat helps you to improve your marriage through sharing, touching, appreciating, and focus healing attention on your mate. He answers physical, psychological, and stress related questions in a Christian context. He helps demonstrate how to bring your feelings of love back to life. May 18, Dmreichle rated it really liked it. I read the copy of this book and find some of the writing a bit dated.